There goes the Neighborhood...

Well I just came from the premier of the much anticipated Star Wars Episode III, The Revenge of the Sith. First things first, I must warn all you readers that this post will contain information that you may not want to know if you havent already seen this. But then again, if you are looking forward to seeing this and dont already know what happens, then you are an idiot.

Second of all, I have to say this movie sucked.

Dont get me wrong, it wasnt nearly as bad as Episode I, or Episode II, but it made me lose all hope for Star Wars, and Darth Vader. This movie, in no way redeems the respect lost from Episode I and II. Not only that, but it destroys the fabric of Episodes IV, V, and VI cause I dont think I can ever look at the characters the same.

Let me break it down for you like this...George Lucas, as we already know, is the worst dialogue writer ever, but this was ridiculous. The one liners were ridiculous. Every time Anakin (Hayden Christianson) and Padme (Natalie Portman) were on the screen together I wanted to shove two pencils in my ears. Yet even without the loves scenes all the dialogue was undeveloped and so simple, you can guess whats going to happen in the rest of the saga without even knowing the stories that follow. Yoda really needs to work on his verbiage. I mean we all know that he speaks in broken sentences, but there were times when you couldnt decipher what he was saying cause his sentences came out like this "Trust in your apprentice misplaced must me be." What the fuck does that even mean. And this was a common occurence. Basically it was like a page by page childrens book with one sentence on each page, except the illustrations were done by some 3-D CG sci-fi nerd.

Moving on, I have decided that these movies shouldnt have been made after the original 3 were made in the late seventies, early eighties. It made George Lucas try too hard to tie everything together and to close everything up in this movie. Not in a subtle way, like when Obi-Wan picks up Anakins Light Sabre which he later gives to Luke in Episode IV, or like in the opening sequence when Anakin is flying what resembles the early stages of a TIE-fighter, but instead most things were just put out there in plain sentences a 2 year old could tie into the originals. Yoda saying goodbye to Chewbacca, the end discussion of what to do with the babies, Yoda talking about how he needs to go into exile, Obi-Wan mentioning how he will keep an eye on Luke in Tatooine, etc., etc...All this stuff is so obvious from seeing the movies, we certainly dont need it all explained to us. It is as if George is trying to close everything out in these three and leave everything resolved, but what he is forgetting is that there are still three more movies where all the questions are answered.

And on top of all of this, he has turned Darth Vader into a whiny bitch. Dont believe me, go see it...You will never look at Darth Vader the same again.

Overall this movie has destroyed any interest I had in the Star Wars saga. It was their last hope. Of course Episode IV, as we all know brings A New Hope. Maybe its time I visited the old classics.