Gay, Straight Or Taken: Its like Elimidate with a hilarious twist. Even more hilarious then most of the twists Elimidate has recently been implementing. The premise starts with a girl (or guy but we will use the girl for my example) who is going on a date with three 'eligible' bachelors. After brief introductions with her three dates her phone rings. On the other end is one of her dates girlfriend/wife explaining that if she picks her boyfriend/husband, they get to take the prize vacation that is on the table. Needless to say, this shocks the hell out of the girl and she starts questioning everyone in the group. Just when you think she couldn't get more upset, her phone rings again, only this time it is a man explaining that one of her dates is his gay significant other, and they too want that prize vacation. So the date continues as everyone tries to convince this girl that not only are the other two guys gay, but that they are the right one for her, so they can win a trip at the end. The best part is how they make them do the most homo-erotic dates ever like Gymnastics, Roller-Disco, and Cheerleading, so everyone looks gay. And I know I already said this, but the real best part is when the girl accuses the single/straight guy of being gay at the end and loses. Who wouldn't want to be on this show?
Hot Jolly Ranchers: Those of you that know me, know I have a problem with being too relaxed while driving, which sometimes may lead to driving into farmhouses or something along those lines. I have learned tricks to help prevent this like listening to certain Albums, and having hard candy readily available for long trips. Jolly Ranchers are my favorite as they last the longest since they are super compressed and impossible to bite through. Its as if it originally starts out as a piece of hard candy ten stories high, and then they pressurize it to shrink it all down to its actual size. Its like trying to bite through a diamond with a Watermelon taste. But I digress - Due to the massive heat of the Valley in the summer, my car gets up to 100+ degrees this time of year. And let me tell you, nothing is more disgusting then popping a Sour Apple Jolly Rancher in your mouth at twenty degrees above your body temperature. It makes driving into a house seem like an amusement park ride.
Wearing Shoes: Honestly I don't know how people do it. I have started working again, and I can't wear flip-flops to the office. It is the worst feeling in the world. Maybe I am just not used to it anymore, but the thing I look forward to the most about going home is being able to not have shoes on anymore. I have even been kicking em off when I am in my cubicle and hanging out typing in socks...My feet are claustrophobic. Seriously I HATE it.
3 comments:
As a kid, I tried to bite through a Jolly Rancher. My tooth became embedded in the thing. It formed such a tight bond that I had to let it dissolve to free said molar.
What are those things made out of?
I told you they are super compressed.
Like I really think they take 300,000 regular "Jolly Ranchers" and mash them all together to make one Jolly Rancher that we know.
Thus making it the most dense piece of hard candy in existence.
I hate candy that sticks to my teeth. I have had many a nightmare about Jolly Ranchers. But have you ever had a CHEWY Jolly Rancher? One so old that it has started to dissolve itself/melt/rot and is literally chewy. So gross. This is why I no longer eat bank candy.
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