The Coexistance of Wiggers

After a recent visit to Great Falls, I have found out that wiggers still exist. I was under the impression that they went extinct after Eminem became famous, because then it was cool to be white again. Apparently some cities missed this memo.

I mean Ive seen a lot of gangsta white people, or Urban if you will...but this is very different then being a wigger. Wiggers are much bigger losers. They walk with much more of a limp, usually cause they still wear their pants around the bottom of their asses and have to hold them up while they walk. They also date white girls with really crimped hair that is practically glued to their head. These are usually female wiggers. And correct me if I am wrong, but black people hate wiggers just as much as everyone else.

I was sitting in my car in the parking lot of Albertsons (which is a grocery store) when I came in contact with these wiggers. They pulled their car up to the curb the wrong way and got out one at a time "limping" to the soda machine. Upon their exit one of them saw me laughing, and immediately assumed I was laughing at him. He of course was right, because I was. He got out of his car, which took a few minutes (I think because of the pants problem stated earlier) and came to my window. I rolled down my window to prevent getting it smashed in, considering these people are morons. I calmly said I didnt have a problem with him, and he responded with an 'I got a problem'. So I wished him luck with his problem. He then hit me through the open car window. Then alls I had to do was put my arm up while he kept swinging with no real affect on anything...cause wiggers hit like girls. Then I told him his girlfriend was fat, and he went back to his car and drove off...

Now why didnt I, or Sparky, do anything. First, we were in shock that wiggers still exist, cause I havent seen one in real life since high school...Second, there was still a whole car full of wiggers and wiggerettes who could have wanna be-guns, knifes or other type weapons, and with Jims wedding two days away, we didnt want anything bad to happen. Besides knocking their teeth out would be a favor, cause then they could get gold ones.

So everyone beware, they are still out there, and they still wanna-be...even more then ever.

The Road Trip

I dont have much motivation for writing this detail oriented post about what me and Sparky have been up to on this trip. Cause it isnt that funny. I mean sure its been hilarious and Sparky and I have had a lot of funny things happen to us, like that one time...remember that one Sparky? Man that was hilarious.

Anyways, my point is...if you want all the details, go to Sparky's blog which you can find a link to on the right. He has already finished describing most of what we have done and all the boring details as well as his own hilarious observations.

Here are my observations in no particular order.

If Dwight came with us to Tijuana for McMahons birthday, we probably would have been killed. And we definitely would have killed that whistle blowing, tequila hustling whore that charged us money for forcing tequila down our throats...and by down our throats I mean all over our faces. Dwight would have held her down while I shoved that whistle up her ass.

Seattle is a cool city, except when it rains. And Bumbershoot is a pretty sweet festival. Although not without its dissapointments, like the price of food. Also check out my review of the Trey show on my review page.

Log Frisbee is a great game. The second greatest frisbee game ever created next to Frisbee tennis, which incorporates violence, frisbee, and tennis all into one big bonanza of fun.

MT. Saint Helens sucks. I mean you have to pay fees to do anything...Including hiking on trails. And most of the trails were closed off due to volcanic activity. I mean why else would we come to MT. Saint Helens?...to not see volcanic activity? There are a million mountains we can do that at. I hope it erupts again without warning and kills everyone who kept me from walkin on volcanic ashes and the remains of a dead eco-system.

I shouldnt ever bring my guitar camping with me, especially since I am too obsessed with it to keep it in anything besides a hard case...which results in it being heavy and bulky, thus a royal pain in the ass to carry 1.5 miles uphill back to the car.

Sparky and I are the king of road trips...cause we dont care what happens and we fly by the seat of our pants. Which is what something like this is all about. I mean one night we will be sleepin in the middle of nowhere with the threat of bears eating our delicious Spaghetti-Os, and the next night we will go see a movie and go to Wal-Mart so Sparky can get some clean clothes. Or when it starts raining in Seattle, we just leave. That'll teach god to make it rain where we are.

Like Tango and Cash

This road trip marks the return of the Dickey and Sparky connection which has been absent for quite some time. So far the results have been tremendous and outrageous. Although I am sure all of you already know this thanks to Sparky's Blog, since he does a much better job of keeping it updated...

The day before I picked up Sparky I hung out at Miranda's place in Denver. It was a pretty chill night of drinking and Jamming with a bunch of her friends. By the end of the night it was her friend Tom and I chillin and playin phish songs together...It was a relaxing time.

The next day I made my way to the Denver International Airport to go find Sparky. I was happy to see the airport contained a Burger King so I indulged myself there and then waited...Soon enough Sparky came walking out of the gate with pubes all over his face and the stench of Monkey semen all over him...I could tell he was a dirty mexican...So the homoerotic friendship began almost immediately as we ventured out of the airport. We went back to Miranda's place where most of my stuff was, ordered a pizza, got ahold of Colin (Sparky's Friend) and headed to Fort Collins...Despite the name Fort Collins had no actual fortification, and it didnt even belong to Colin...So as you can tell I was quite pissed...almost as pissed as I got during our trip to Mt. Saint Helens which I will get to in future updating.

So we met up with Colin in the Parking Lot of a Wal-Mart and started our Fort Collins adventures which mostly involved watching Colin get hammered and laughing. And it also involved another chill night of shootin the shit and making music with friends. The thing I learned most from being in Colorado is that Colin is hilarious. Thats it...

More to come...